


Beforus Trolls: Meet Each Other

by lifeisntamusical



Category: Homestuck
Genre: :), Alpha Trolls - Freeform, Beforus, HappyStuck, It's happy compared to canon, More Relationships to be added, More characters to be added, More tags to be added, Multi, as always, i guess I mean, kankri being awful
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 14:45:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2511476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifeisntamusical/pseuds/lifeisntamusical
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because there aren't enough stories about the Beforus trolls, and even less about them meeting each other for the first time.</p><p>Many of these stories will be self indulgent, so feel free to request a meeting!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beforus Trolls: Meet Each Other

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said in the description, all the stories planned are about meetings I want, so feel free to request things.

As soon as she saw him, she pulled him into a hug. He had just turned, just lifted his hand in a greeting that was no doubt going to be distant and tagged, and his hug wasn't much warmer. He stood, stiff as a board, until dropping his hand, not even bothering to return the hug.

It was awkward, her wrapped around him while he acted as though he were a statue, but it got the message across loud and clear. Ending the hug, she held him at arm's length and studied him.

He was much shorter than she had imagined, the tips of his horns barely reaching her collarbone—not that the horns were giving him much in the way of height. He was scrawny, too, his shoulders thin under her hands. But none of that was important, not with the real problem glaring back at her.

"What are you wearing?" He blinked, glancing down at himself before answering.

"Clothing." She paused, trying to figure out if he was sassing her or being serious. In the silence, he stepped away and her hands came back to her sides.

"Porrim, while it is a pleasure to meet you in person, it isn't recommended that you greet other trolls with physical contact. At the very least, you should tell ask said troll if they feel comfortable with you touching them before doing so. You could've seriously triggered me just now, and—" Oh, he was talking, and, astoundingly, it was even more boring in person.

"You're joking. You can't seriously be wearing those." He stopped mid-sentence, looking at his pants again and biting his lip.

"What's wrong with my attire?" He was serious, he actually thought he was wearing a perfectly suitable outfit. She didn't know whether to shake him or cry for him.

"Kanny, there are—"

"Kankri." Porrim glared at him, but he only raised a brow and stared back. When it became apparent neither would back down, she continued.

"...there are high waisted bottoms, and then there's...those." He opened his mouth to reply, but she cut him off, reaching over to pull at his absurdly high waistline. "These don't deserve to be used as cleaning rags!"

"No, they don't. That's why I'm wearing them, Porrim. And please stop touching me."

"That isn't what I meant and you know it! You've got to have other clothing, I can't even look at you right now."

"That's an exaggeration, not to mention ableist to those that are visually challenged. There are people who can't see at all, and you're complaining because you can?" When she only saw his text, he had only seemed very obnoxious, but now she could hear the contempt in his voice, thinly masked by an air of neutrality, and she knew she was wrong.

"Have you looked in a mirror lately? Of course I'm complaining, this is horrifying. Look, I'll just make you new pants." He pursed his lips, stepping back and sighing.

"I believe you're acting like the pot that called the kettle black." He said, gesturing to her outfit. "Actually, that's inaccurate, as there is nothing wrong with what I'm wearing."

"Nothing wrong with what you're wearing? Then what, do tell, is wrong with my clothing?" Apparently Porrim had made friends with a fashion prodigy, and she wasn't looking forward to hearing what he had to say.

"It's more than a tad revealing, isn't it? There's no need to showcase so much of your skin. I mean, if you've got to go to such measures to impress people, perhaps they aren't worth your time."

And there it was. The little brat, acting as though he could tell her what to wear with his pants hiked up higher than a fuchsia blood. Despite his shrimpy appearance, he still managed to be pretentious.

"I'm not wearing this to impress others. I'm wearing it because I like it." She leaned down to meet his eyes, her words clipped short. "I think I understand more on this subject than you, so I recommend you don't act otherwise."

"I'm not implying you don't. I'm only saying that for someone who knows so much about clothing, it is regretful that you don't wear very much of it." His voice was even, its condescending tone ringing clear.  "I've only got your best interests at heart, Porrim. I don't want you to get involved with people who only want you for your body."

"My best interests?" She scoffed. "If you were really concerned about my best interests, you wouldn't criticize what I wear when I clearly know more than you. Besides, how much of my body I reveal is none of your business! I'm six sweeps old, if someone only wants me for my body, they're the ones with issues."

"No one would be able to have (trigger warning: casual ableism) said issues if you covered up. You're a lovely troll, you don't need to flaunt your body like that to get quadrant mates. If you continue like this, you'll end up going through quadrants like nobody's business, with one promiscuous troll after another and not a single serious relationship among them."

Not being able to block Kankri when he got particularly obnoxious was going to be awful.

**Author's Note:**

> The 'hiked higher than a fuchsia blood' line may be my greatest achievement.


End file.
